Let's get together and feel alright.

Have you ever been at a complete loss for words?
                Probably, and more than likely in both a good and a bad way.

Today, I really did not know what to say or how to say it. I was feeling rather lousy about myself and I basically just wanted to curl up in bed under the covers and cry... and then my baby, the miracle that he is, asked me that dreaded of all questions; "Are you okay?".

Of course, I can hold it today under almost any circumstance as long as someone does not ask me if I'm okay... So I broke down, cried, felt completely lost... and I could not explain why.

I will be honest, I've considered talking to my doctor, finding out about counseling, but I was ashamed... I didn't want to admit there was a problem or that I had these feelings... but hearing someone else suggest it made me feeling like it wasn't unreasonable. I feel reassured.

I really don't know what  my plan is. I don't know if I'm going to go to the doctor,  I don't know if I'll go to counseling.... But I feel okay about it now, I feel like it's an option.

I feel a little better than I did when I got out of bed this morning, maybe not 100% better but still, better.

That being said, I have been thinking about what I can do to make myself feel better...I've been trying to make a plan.... and I think I'm going to start with little goals.

My goal this week: Exercise at least three days this week.

Easy enough, right? Doubtful but as long as I try, that's what counts.

- B

Song of the day: "One Love" by Bob Marley

"One love. One heart. Let's get together a feel alright."