We are glass.....

I had school tonight and it was really good. We talked about working with minorities and recognizing and avoiding discrimination. We had some really interesting conversations.

Now here I am at home. My honey is watching some movie, I want to ball my eyes out but I don't.
It's really hard to stay strong sometimes. Really flippin' hard.

I want to cry, but at the same time I am so, so tired of crying.

I have so much that I want to do and so many things that I want to get accomplished but it seems almost impossible sometimes. I know that I am pretty unhealthy right now. I'm overweight, and being as diabetes runs in my family I know this is something I need to worry about... However, I feel so overwhelmed between college, work, and attempting to keep my relationship strong that I feel like I don't have time to work out, or walk, and on a budget eating healthy is super hard.

It's always, "I'll work out later after I get this done" or "I'll start Monday cause I don't like starting a routine in the middle of the week".... Excuses, excuses, and I know that's all they are.

This makes me even more depressed about me being overweight and it just turns into a vicious cycle.
Of course, I have tons of support - my baby being at the top of the list, but if I don't believe in myself how am I suppose to make a change??

I feel stuck. Like a hamster on a ever turning wheel of life...

I suppose it is all just overwhelming... I guess it's just life, right?
Maybe?

I don't know......

What I do now is that I want to change somthing.... Well, a couple of things....

1. I want to lose weight. Not just to be "skinny" or "pretty" but because I know I need to so that I can be healthier.

2. I want to realize my worth. Longshot, right? Probably but it's something I want so I'm listing it.

3. I would really, really, love to be able to go one week without wanting to lose my frickin' mind.

I don't really know how to accomplish all of the above.... Perhaps I should "sleep on it"?

Avas, I have to get up early in the morning for school... Let's hope tomorrow is a good day.

- B

Song of the day: "Glass" by Thompson Square

"We may shine, we may shatter, we may be pickin' up the pieces here on after. We are fragile, we are human, we are shaped by the light we let through us. We break fast, cause we are glass"